As I mentioned above spring break is here in full swing. Whereas I'm working, you are probably spending your time on the beach, chilling with friends, or cleaning as every spring goer should. No matter what you choose, I hope you enjoy your week off of school. Also remember to cherish the time spent with the people you care about.
On to other things. As I said I've been working and driving the company box truck around. Well, yesterday I was given my boss' credit card and told to fill the tank up and buy shelving from Sam's. I'd like to tell you the story of my Sam's endeavor, but first I warn you. Do not use a credit card you do not know the zip code to, you could end up in jail... as I almost did lol. Luckily I did not go to jail and I was not raped (just seemed to fit). After a "light" snack at Buffet City (fine establishment), I headed to Sam's. Armed with my boss' credit card and his membership card all with photo verification, I casually entered. Now one does not simply walk into a Sam's and pick something off the shelf and take it to the 10 items or less lane and leave with a single bag in hand smiling. Especially when you plan on buying over $1000 in shelving that weight a lot. Everybody knows these rules that Sam's has established and although they pay to shop there they all look pissed. Each shopper is chained to their oversized shopping cart, sweating as they pull oversized boxes of off brand soap, cereal, and televisions by the neck. I saw one old women carrying three 2 gallon jugs of detergent on her head whilst carrying a gallon of Burgundy wine in her teeth (and I don't know if you've ever seen the handle of a gallon of wine... not fun) and in each hand a kitchen set complete with 3 pots, a sauce pan, salt and pepper shaker, and a colander. Impressive. So as I'm dodging the highly choreographed flow of customers I can see the dirty looks as my out of place presence makes people drop towers of groceries. Phew, finally the shelf shelves ( or as most would say- shelving isle). So... what now? TAKE ONE OF THESE TO CASHIER ---->. Oh... I guess I take this to the cashier then. Step, step, shuffle, bow, turn, and Skip! Ok I'm at the register I think I'm actually getting the hang of this. I'm smiling with glee as now certainly everyone can see I fit in. I hand the cashier my tickets. She asks for my membership card and credit card, as I said earlier both have my boss' picture on it- not mine. However, she snatches them both does a series of keystrokes and throws them back. I notice around me the organized flow of employees, as if in a show tune flying about with shopping carts and pallet jacks. She looks at my tickets and says "Ok... OK... Did you tell the guy?". Confused I reply "What guy?... Tell him what?". "That you need this shelving.. you should have told the guy". "Uhh... no? I didn't tell anyone". She says "Ok well now I need to get the guy. You're gonna have to step out of line" So I step out of line and she directs me to sit in the food court out of the way of dancing employees and the series of performances simultaneously taking place. While waiting I fiddle about on my phone. Until I hear a very faint "Sir...Sir... Sir... Sir" in the same monotone tone every time. So I look up. It's my friendly neighborhood cashier... the star of the Sam's show. She has me get back in line cutting 3 disgruntled customers all of which I noticed have 2 shopping carts and at least one crying child. She re-rings me up and then tells me "A colored man would assist me shortly" The 3 customers, each of their crying babies and I snap our heads
back at her in disbelief. To which I responded "ooook?" and then she again told me take a seat. Ugh. Ok so after waiting 20 minutes I realized after zoning out that I've been waiting for a really long time. I look to the large storm door that is the exit. I see my shelving. I guess nobody decided to tell me. So I try to fake the steps to the exit. Hop, skip, whirl. JUMP! and ok I landed right on the market. A studio audience applauses. The lady demands my receipt. She scribbles all over it with a comically large sharpie. She smiles and says "OK. Your all set". "Uhm, I'm gonna need someone to help me load this into my truck" The smile runs from her face faster than a Kenyan. "Well, did you tell the guy?" I let out an audible groan.. "What Guy?". Almost as if on cue people behind me begin running into each other as they all too are landing on the mark a reverse domino effect and the pile grows higher. She lets out a deep exhale and says "I'll get our loading team, just pull around". Trying not to disturb the peace (anymore than I already have) I quickly got the box truck and pulled around to meet the "loading team" two very young kids each dressed like P Diddy. Not to say I have anything against P Diddy or his choice of fashion. I am sure it works well for whatever he does. A career in heavy lifting not so much. However I was fooled, because these kids were more interested in the electronic lift on the truck than helping me lift the shelving into the truck. Each box was at or over 100 pounds each and there were eight. So as two kids worked the single toggle switch of the lift I loaded the shelving. The endeavor quickly went from mildly amusing to extremely aggravating. However, I left very happy I hadn't caused more damage. Well it is almost time for me to head back into work. Again, I hope you enjoyed this post and you should probably comment so I can hear your thoughts!!! Enjoy the rest or beginning or whatever stage of your spring break your in! Hopefully I can post again before I leave. BYE!
_ToDD
I almost forgot a song!
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