Post #20- Teenage Wedding

Hello, "readers". Although you may not today is a cause for celebration. 20 posts! To think it seems like yesterday (lie) I wrote the first post. I've been trying to engage an active audience, but I feel it is to little avail but I like writing it and I know a lot of people read it at the least so I guess thats just swell.

Normally I have some stories and its fair to say that some are better than others and I think that is true too, can't win them all. Usually I refrain from posting if I don't have a good enough story because sometimes there is just not enough to talk about. As you know I am a college student and a small/larger part (depends on who you are) of college is parties. I can honestly I've experienced a lot of things at parties, but this is simply unique.

I was with two friends chatting in the corner, just paying little to no mind as to what is going on around us. Suddenly, there is a rumble. We all noticed it but you know parties tend to be loud and there's a lot going on so we all decided to ignore it. Again, yet louder and much more powerful another rumble. We begin to scan the completely make believe tree lines. A foot print in the non existent mud synchronized ripples with the rumble. When suddenly someone shouts "Shoot her!!". No this is not the plot to Jurassic Park so just shush. BOOM BOOM BOOM. There she is let say her name is Lola. Cue music! So Lola for the sake of this story is maybe 5 feet tall and about 18 stone (256 Lbs). Written on her red solo cup were the words "Lola is DTF"... Now if you do not know the meaning of the acronym DTF I suggest looking it up. This blog doesn't support such foul language and will therefore use the acronym instead. Crashing into the wall and causing a matrix shockwave through the entire building Lola let out a groan and proceeded to say in a deep 10 cigarette voice "Listen guys, I am so DTF" My friend and I take a half a step back as we both exude a simultaneous "hm..". Unfortunately for friend number 3 he is standing in the corner and has no exit strategy previously planned. He is forced to remain completely still. I've heard many stories of such an attack. Some say play dead, some say remain still and avoid eye contact, others say run screaming. The only actual thing I've heard to work is remaining still and thats the option number 3 chose. From afar helpless like two little girls my friend and I watched waited and expect the worst. She leaned in closer. Oh the humanity, he's so young, he can't be eaten now. My friend shed a single tear, a tear of remorse for he was about to witness the death of a man he just got to know, and so soon he would be gone forever. Instead of a massive anaconda like jaw detaching bite, she let out a whisper that sounded something like "If there is anything I can do before you leave tonight... you let me know". GASP! In awe we stood stunned, but in amazement number 3 said without thought at all " So, do you have a business card or....". Laughter consumed us, and still none of would have been surprised if she produced one. "Mmmm... No" and she slinked away defeated. I will not be surprised to see Lola again this time with a business card. We exchanged high fives as she descended into her cave. Vile creature.

There is a lot you may have come to know about me. There is one thing I have never spoken about on here, however. I hate clubs. Actually if I go with a date its fine because that seems normal to me. I don't understand the thought here, its supposed to be a social atmosphere you meet people you dance shmooze we all go home happy. No, you can't talk because the music is to loud. Here is apparently the system from what I have observed. You walk in BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM people BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM dancing BOOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM you cant hear anything. There are many people dancing and doing their thing. Now what happens is you circle the dance floor like a hawk. (meanwhile I am observing this from the bar I am standing at to stay away from the cyclone created by sexually aggravated college students. Now the girls they are with their friends in the middle facing in towards each other. So the men are just as I like to say butt gazing or booty scoping depending on my mood. Much like a line for a urinal, nobody makes eye contact, and nobody for absolutely any reason talks to one another. POW all the sudden the man strikes. Latches the hips of the unsuspecting female and so the test begins. Basically the allowed rape takes place for about 5 seconds in order for the friend facing that direction to make a decision (not the girl actually being danced...on). A simple shake of the head, determines how the process will ensue. Now don't get me wrong a lot of people are ok with this. Really, I've found I am of an extremely small number not ok with this. I personally prefer a "hey how are you want to dance?" but this is not how things work in here. Its a business. You walk into a publix to buy groceries not talk to the tomatoes. I take issue with this. It repulses me the idea that I'm just going to come up behind someone and smear man bits on them an hour and never see them again. I must say though to remain completely transparent I have never actually tried. Due to the way I feel about I have never actually done it and therefore although I may be biased I remain not very optimistic that I will ever try. I'll take you out to dinner, or a movie maybe, but the club is not my kind of place.

Essentially a post of word vomit, but there's something oddly comforting about just writing and realizing your head feels lighter when you are done. I bid you all adieu. Remember comment comment comment! Here's a tune to leave you with, Enjoy!

_ToDD

Post #19- My Shoes...

Well, well... You again? I'm just playing. I'm really glad to have not only the time, but the motivation to reconnect with you again. I'm sure most of the people that read this blog has long given up on it. Discarded it as just another one of those blogs that pop when you just so happen to type in "the" "and" or "Justin Bieber or Lance Bass: Battle of the Gay". The last one was a surprise to even me, but we must persevere. Despite my absence my longing to write another post has been tearing at my head like a bad drug addiction or a nun removing you from class. So.. Let's get started!

Who knew college life was so stressful (literally everyone, I get it, just roll with me here)? Sometimes it seems like the more you do exponentially you have that much more to do. For example: My goal this year among others was to land a summer internship, I've been successful so far but in order to shake that first hand it took so much work. It got to the point to where once I shook that hand I had this strange impression I was done. Silly, Todd. Once you shake the guys hand you have interviews and the whole nine and don't forget looking professional. I love it though it has been an experience like out of this world, and I'm extremely thankful its worked out for me so far. Upon my journey to the land of internship, there is one task. Much like the levels of your favorite video game there is always a "boss". This level- The Resume. I had been in and out of something we call the Career Center, wonderful place great chairs. There you take your resume, they draw on it and talk really fast and kick you out the door. I had been getting used to this- I am proficient in "Career Center Scribblings" and even begun wearing a butt pad. The goal of this particular level is to fall into the bonus round known as the "Plus! Services Round" where you go and a bunch of shiny spinning job coins are and you have 30 seconds to get them all. Can't get to "yay us" land until you've completed the resume. So each time I spoke with Lord Scribbles I went back to my trusty laptop and reapplied for the BONUS ROOOUND. Well, turns out the "boss" controls the bonus round, lets call him Bruce. So Bruce lets out a terrible laugh each time his computer blinks and says "NEW VICTIM" and there hidden by his secret lair and his 12 pt font he writes back e-mails. Saying either "yay us" or "Continue...10...9...8"(you get the hint trying to keep the video game metaphor here). Needless to say after about 4 times I'm out of quarters. This one has to count. So I apply again... Ass bruised, 12 different degrees in scribble one for each dialect, and kind of hungry not that that has anything to do with it. Ate and went to sleep. I woke up got dressed ( in a suit there was a career fair- one of the levels but maybe a story for another day), when I read the following e-mail from Bruce: "Todd, since you keep sending the same resume your resume is being approved. At some point you need to come in and be an adult to see why your resume has been sent back stating you need help on it." He giggled like a little girl as he pressed enter... I can only imagine. So I see this and I am like... ~~xx Gurlz iMa ~BoUt~ tA SlApz~ SUmz HoEz xx ~~~ (complete with finger snaps). So I decide its best to meet Bruce in his office because, thats just wrong, video game or not... Needless to say living in a video game its very difficult to get to Bruce. 1st the dumb blonde plastic looking girl has to be defeated. DONE. 2nd You must wait for her royal dumbness to actually figure out where Bruce's office actually is (if you dare). DONE. 3rd you must endure the stares of all the people who previously scribbled on your "Same" resume a million times. Luckily, she found him. "Whats the problem?" he said. I could see his tie was tucked delicately behind his neck rolls. "Well, sir. You see I got this nasty e-mail from some one here regarding my resume" (no clue at this point it was actually him). He blinked, cleared his... imaginary area between his shoulders and head and said "I wrote dat e-mail son. I juss needed you to come and have this thing critiqued finally". To my horror fat-man was Bruce the boss of the level, this must be how the game works! "Well, sir if I can. I'd like to show you versions 1-5 of my resume all complete with the finest scribblings you can ever see. Ask me if you need help translating" In horror Bruce (formally known as fat-man) gazed upon his faculty's work. Each beautifully constructed with scribble as if woven from the finest of silk. He was so taken aback by it he replied "Dats jus Garbage, you tellin' my peoples did this". " Well, sir the word 'People' is already plura- Uh, Yeah they did that". Needless to say the meeting ended with him taking photocopies of the fine work of scholarly scribbles to yell at some "peoples" at the next meeting. Bruce made certain that I was accepted to the bonus round and also told me directly what to do with my resume. I feel like that was a long story sheesh.

I'm sure many of you have experienced lifestyle changes since we last... spoke. I'd focus on the positive and ultimately care not. Care not... this is the word of Todd. Uhm, sorry. I know I have, but I think that really whats been working for me is to move forward and do more. There was a quote that I posted as my status and I have it written down, and I am not sure whose original intellectual property it is, but I am stealing it. "When all is said and done, More is said than done". I think really sometimes your just given the opportunity to build yourself, with out all the planning just go out there and do. As usual, my non-conclusionesque random thought or form of inspiration.

Well, I'm going to cut it here. As always your comments, your involvement, suggestions, and food are extremely helpful to me. I would love to have to not be able to read all the feedback so really don't be afraid to post! I want to know you are reading, I really want to know what you like/want and equally I want to know what you don't like/want. I think its great you guys read this, and I'm sorry its been forever. Oh, uhm I have a song to play me out. I think I'm am going to do this more. Most of you know all the titles from my posts relate to music either titles or phrases from lyrics its a fun thing I do, but I am going to also add this song which may or may not be related to the title, but is related to my mood blah blah. So been fun, enjoy!

_ToDD