Post #18- Peaks and Valleys...

I'd really like to thank everyone for the support both with comments and word of mouth. It's been a big help and although I strive to be self motivated, we could all use a pick-me-up. So I come to you now to fill you in on my life and my thoughts like I always have. I hope you enjoy reading it.

Someone left me a comment on my last post saying that life has it's peaks and valleys. I don't feel like I have to expand on that any further, but it is noted that life isn't always perfect. I spent a very thought provoking weekend at home spending time with family. I realized that although life has it's dips, bends, and grooves, it is not symmetrical. My life right now is a deserted rubble after the being pillaged and trampled (only to be rebuilt, of course). However, other people are on top of life's peaks. I would like to think of these ups and downs reflect that of a prospering business. Yes, there certainly are divots in the line that sink low, and major spikes where things are good. The trend is the important part, no matter low you sink it's not as low as you've been (despite how you feel) and you're still moving up, slowly. In a way we gauge our lives on the peaks, the happy or good times, that we prosper. You may not agree but think if lets say today was a bad day and yesterday was a great day. The first thing you think is today was not as good as yesterday. I know I do.

Speaking of gauging life on peaks, I've kept mine. Though "good times" are intangible there are ways to hold on to the next best thing. I have a box in my room full of at first glance garbage. Really, it's about anything I could get my hands on from the past. Programs from school events, old send off letters from middle school, notes from girls and encouraging doodles people have made me through my years. I don't ever really put anything in there, I don't really receive a lot nowadays. So for about an hour I thumbed through the peaks of my past lives and added a bit as well. I realized that though it was kind of depressing, it was also therapeutic. Like time travel thats kid tested and mother approved, safe. If you have a box and you're reading this let me know your favorite thing you know is in there. I'm curious to hear.

In previous blog posts I made mention to my menopausal mode of mobilization (to continue the alliteration). Sherrie is a indeed a sweet heart despite her promiscuous tendencies. However, I think that most the women in my life were sent a letter telling them to abandon me and hers definitely came in this weekend. Hot flashes engulfed her insides, making her lady bits weak and leaky. Although she did muster up a wink at our mechanic I knew deep down she was weak. She is being fixed however, I can picture a red ferrari hand feeding her a couple quarts of oil, and intensely studying her medical documents as if he knows what he's looking at, show off.

Here's another story. Although this isn't the full truth, I'm telling this story in a way that describes how I feel without deciphering the real from the fake. Yeah, I know that makes no sense. I was dragged into the garage and strapped to uncomfortable chair. It was so hot and I had a big suffocating tarp on me. Try as I may, I could not escape. FLASH. A bright light engulfed me and there was an image of women holding shears standing above me. "How do you want it cut!" Demanded the women. With a certain hesitance I replied "A little shorter than last time?". I could hear the drips of rain, leaking down the walls of the dungeon. The candle swayed with the sound of the wind. This is when I began to wonder, where would wind be coming from? All the sudden I hear a loud buzz far above my head. Oh god it was so annoying. I can hear a familiar cackling, footsteps and then a door slam. I'm alone. "Hello-o-o-o" I yelled only to hear myself holler back. That dreadful buzzing continued I can hear that it is swaying back and forth above my head. BZZZZZZ and back zzzzzzzBZZZZZZ. I desperately try to look around the clammy dark dungeon. Just then a glimmer hit my eye. A dancing light suspended above my head- a reflection. I watched the light skip back and forth, when I noticed it was getting closer. Even the candle was scared of it, for it would shudder every time it swung by. Naturally I was freaking out, yet that did not make it stop. As it drew nearer I noticed that it was a hair clipper suspended from its wire pendulous. I don't believe this. Suddenly, Vincent Price walked up to me and began to laugh at my hopelessness (See end of Michael's Jackson Thriller Music Video). The clipper was just inches above my head swinging back and forth across the room. The candle, my last friend, bailed. Woosh, darkness. The buzzing persisted and I could feel my hands tingling, and there were shivers down my spine. Then suddenly, BURSCHGERRR! Was the last thing I heard before the cries of a million little hairs falling further than they ever imagined possible. I could hear their sweet innocent bodies hit the floor, and give a last grown. I miss those hairs that belong nestled safely somewhere between the back and top of my head. I also miss having a haircut that was less 80's or less like a lesbians. Peaks and valleys. I am certainly more like in a never ending hole. Like the one where that guy from 300 is kicked in, except no one warned me and no one had something clever to say as I was kicked in.

That's it for me for now. I love the comments I've been getting and if your really enjoying it let me know. Tell your friends if you think they will like it. I want to know what your thinking so shoot me a comment. Lastly, don't be afraid to contact me other ways if leaving me a comment is not anonymous enough for you. Thanks.

-ToDD

Post #17- Hope You're Happy...

If I knew this week would be like this at the point of my last post I would have never came. Much like walking into a party, taking one look around and realizing you just do not belong. Despite the crack users in the corner you continue to walk in wondering if maybe theres someone you know. When you walk out the back door to the patio, you see people passed out by the pool, the keg is nowhere in sight and theres no one you know here or at least... conscious. Before you know it your surrounded by a bunch of things you don't understand and your too embarrassed to ask where the door is. Despite your situation you remain polite it's pretty obvious you just arrived (you still have your pants on). You probably have a few questions. "Why did I come here in the first place?", "Why is no one wearing pants?", and lastly "What can I do to improve the situation?". You begin to search for the door on your own and things are happening around you but you remain undistracted despite the fact you recognized how much fun these people seem to be having. This ain't your scene kid!

That's an overwhelming metaphor I know, but I'm not sorry because thats how I've felt so far this week. Regardless there are many things to appreciate: Like for instance I appreciate you've taken a moment to read the mindless ramblings of a 20 something like myself, and I appreciate things that happen to me that in turn give me wonderful things to tell you happy or sad.

On the lighter side... here's a story. I woke up rather surprised and I don't know if you do this but I do. Sometimes when recently I have been having trouble sleeping the morning after the night I do finally fall asleep I always wakeup surprised I ever fell asleep. The second reason was that where I woke up and that was under my bed. Now I can only speculate, but I am going to imagine I had some sort of dream where I needed to seek cover from an oncoming attack from an army known as "the Protagonists". Your probably realizing a couple things A. That is an extremely specific guess. To that I say you don't know me. B. If your a fan of literature much like myself the Protagonist isn't usually the ones causing the issues. Well to that I say I created them based on irony. I envisioned them of some type of power that claim to be one thing but really act another way. So even though they act more like antagonists they call themselves "The Protagonists" because they are in charge and who are you to say what they should be called. I hope you are recognizing the satirical brilliance of my brain matters conjugation. All this is neither here nor there. So a few things are happening here. My back hurts, theres an awful noise in the kitchen, and the first thing I think is "Where's my phone". I have to stop this story again because I'd like to, again, add commentary on the fact that the noise I heard could have very well been a tornado ripping through my apartment, and still, even then, I'd be more curious as to where my phone was and move on from there. Anyways, I walk out my door only to see a miniature bald man scraping up tile in my kitchen. I would have inquired further if he wouldn't have looked up to display more clearly his name tag to reveal that he was called Pete. I don't have

much of a relationship with Peter the maintenance gnome, but I do feel comfortable enough to say to him, "Excuse me sir, What the hell are you doing?". I know that I am not extremely well versed on things like tile or refurbishing things. Peter the maintenance gnome however doesn't know this so when I get an answer like, "routine maintenance sir.", I am left to believe this little bastard thinks I am a retard. "Now listen here I spent the whole night fighting off an army of-" Woah, brain got ahead of me there... I try again. "OK". I turn around go pee and walk back into my room. That didn't go as confrontational as I wanted, but i've heard some pretty powerful stuff about gnomes and I know better to disagree with one.

I'm glad you've enjoyed my anti-climaticism (which my computer tells me IS a word so ha. I knew what you were thinking), however there is a lesson to be learned. You don't get it? Duh, don't get drunk bring home the first short homeless guy you find, dress him up like a gnome as a joke, and let him free in your apartment and black out under your bed only to wake up in the morning forgetting everything. I wonder how much he sold those tiles for...

Writing a blog has proven to be pleasantly challenging. Some days the most difficult task I face is having to reach all the way to the shift key to capitalize my I's. Other days it's so difficult for me to figure out something to write about I give up. Hence the consistently infrequent posting I do now. So I guess you can just treat that like an explanation if you were wondering.

I did mention that this week so far has not been the best week at all. Without delving into the logistics and such I'd like to thank, my friends/family who have come together to let me know they care and be there for me. In a way losing has been reassuring to me at least to know that someone is there for me, or in this case a lot of someones are there for me. There's nothing more I can ask for and realize that now I find myself glad thats all I have, I could be left with worse. No one's perfect, no one has everything they want, and certainly no one person will be around forever. Enjoy the time, remember the laughs, and be prepared to accept the changes of life that come at you, sometimes faster than you know. Life has a way of keeping you in check. Be ready.

I thank you guys all for reading, hopefully my story wasn't too farfetched for you, but I certainly enjoyed writing it. Have a wonderful rest of your, day/week. Leave me comments, let me know whats on your mind, I got a lot on the last post so keep it up! "I hope your happy, you really deserve it". Thanks.

-ToDD